8/19/14
INCIDENT REPORT
SO
I found a place to park at a 99 cent only store, where I periodically stock up
on basic supplies (canned food, pasta, toothpaste, sometimes fruits &
veggies etc…typically the same items for less than you pay at ralphs et
al)…this is in Glendale on the edge of Burbank. After parking, I sat in my car
for a moment listening to a story on the radio.
Then I cracked my door open and
slowly swung it outward, always careful NOT to hit the car next to me…so I
always open the door gently and slowly…this time it stopped short..I looked and
noticed a young Latino woman was standing there…the door had touched her
backside. I immediately pulled the door back and said, “Sorry” and waited for
her to get in the car. She got in the car, but her latino boyfriend apparently
decided to turn this small nothing into an incident. First, he reached over to
her and rubbed her back and said, “Are you ok?” Then he got out of the driver’s
seat and walked around the car, suddenly so chivalrous, and shut the door for
her.
He apparently decided to take as much time as he could while I waited to
get out…finally, I said, “Can I get out?” And that’s when he decided to turn up
the volume. “What’s your problem, man?” he yelled. …and from there I can’t
remember the exact words or sequence of conversation but I knew that he was
immediately turning this into a race issue. If I had been latino, this wouldn’t
have been an issue at all.
He started repeating the F word over and over
towards me. I just stood there…at one point I said something like “DO you think
I’m scared because I’m a white boy?” . He kept trying to get louder, apparently
tring to draw attention.I continued to stand there, waiting for him to move. He
moved closer and bumped his chest against me. I couldn’t resist saying, “Why
are you bumping up against me? Are you gay or something?” That fueled his fire.
Then a few guys came walking over…two black guys, and two white guys. The latino
guy immediately assumed the black guys were on his side for some reason. I
didn’t think latinos & blacks considered themselves one with each other.
One of the white guys took my side. I wasn’t sure about the other white guy.
The
latino guy said, “I’m just as American as you are..I was born here..” . I said,
“I didn’t say anything about you not being American…” . It didn’t matter. This
was about him being brown and seeing me as “white.” I knew that immediately.
Had I been Latino, he would have never even gotten out of the car and made an
issue. Maybe they thought they could “shake me down”…play hurt…start a lawsuit
against a “white rich guy.”
The problem is they didn’t think it through. If I
was a “white rich guy” would I be shopping at 99 cents only? So this little
charade continued for a while. I asked the white guy to get store security
because I said I wasn’t going to leave my van until this guy drove
away…thinking he might do something to my car if I walked into the store. He
kept demanding an “apology” to ‘his woman” .
I kept telling him I told her I
was sorry when the slight touch or bump occurred and I didn’t need to do it
again, and especially wouldn’t do it if he was trying to coerce it by
intimidation. I was ready to defend myself physically if he tried to do
anything. I didn’t flinch. He had backed away after I asked him if he was gay.
That was a good line…have to remember that next time a dude like this gets too
close.
Although there is a gay latino community, the machisimo of latinos makes
them extra sensitive to being called gay. I could have raised the defense that
she was standing in my “blind spot” as I opened the door, but what was the
point. This was NOT in fact about her being hurt whatsoever. It was about a
“white boy” touching the back of a latino girl with his car door.
Not to
mention the fact that I’m 47-years-old. The white guy who was supporting me had
seen the Jesus sticker on my car and liked it. That’s what I’m all about…what
my life is all about. I realized that NO MATTER how long I stay here in
southern California and do good things I will never be treated as a fellow
citizen by many because of racism. Yes, racism.
It’s not really even “reverse
racism” in southern California because white’s don’t have much power to be
racist…we’re not even the majority..we don’t have that kind of power. This was
more like being at Dodger stadium, which is predominantly Latino…a white person
(think of Brian Stow) is at the mercy of Latinos. IF they get angry and get a
mob mentality going, you’re a dead man, almost literally in Brian Stow’s case.
IN this case, he finally drove away…I retained my masculinity. I didn’t back
down. No punches ultimately were pulled. But it still ruins a few hours of the
day…maybe even the whole day..maybe even a few weeks or months in a tiny part
of your mind as you mull over how UNFAIR the incident was.
Normally, this would
be a non-incident, or a matter of “common grace”. Somebody does something incidentally and
accidentally…no harm..maybe a moment of surprise at being touched by a car door…probably
they didn’t think anybody was in the car at all, but once everybody realizes
what happens, it’s over. It’s like somebody brushing into you accidentally in a
grocery store aisle.
You don’t like it for a moment, but 99% of the time you
realize it was purely coincidental and incidental and had nothing to do with
them being careless around you because of your skin color or whatever. It only
becomes an issue if a person is a “drama queen” trying to make something out of
nothing. I felt sorry for the guy later on…given he thought I might have
actually done it on purpose because he thought I had no regard for the gal
because she was a poor Latino.
Truly, I didn’t know anybody was there at all…it
could have been the first lady of the USA, or the queen of England…I simply
didn’t know anybody was there. They were in my “blind spot.” God bless this
young man and “his woman” . I hope he finds a way to diffuse his generalized
anger towards me as a “white person”. I love ALL people,
red-yellow-black-white…even purple. God bless you my friend.
